50 ways to leave your lover

We all have heard the song, "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" by Paul Simon....but he only names 5 ways! (see below)

1. slip out the back, jack
2. make a new plan, stan
3. don't need to be coy, roy
4. hop on the bus, gus
5. drop off the key, lee

SO..here's the other 45 ways, as discussed by Krisin and myself...
6. get on a jet, chet (me)
7. act like a slob, bob (me)
8. get it caught in a fan, dan (me)

THEN, Kristin started catching on and joined in....

9. cheat on the bitch, Rich (kay)
10. stab her in the back, mac (me)
11. back away real slow, joe (me)
12. hide in the shed, jed (me)
13. use the axe, Max (kay)
14. run her over, grover (me)
15. sleep with her Mom, Tom (kay)
16. or with her dad, tad (me)
17. or with the cat, pat (me)
18. cut up her fish, ish (me)
19. cut of her feet, pete (me)
20. break off a limb, Jim (kay)
21. steal her best friend jenny, kenny (kay...starting to reach a little bit)
22. become gay, Ray (kay..redeeming herself)
23. go get her a dike, mike (me)
24. say u don't want to marry, Larry (kay)
25. get a plastic ring, ding (me, but kay objects to the name...GOTTA be a Ding SOMEWHERE!)
26. stick her ass to the can, dan (me..redeeming MYself)
27. throw her off the edge, reg (me)
28. pee on her leg, greg (me)
29. u love goat sex, Rex (kay, but not sure how this is a way to leave a lover, but hell..it's funny)
30. run down the street baren, aaron (me)
31. pathological lying, brian (kay, i almost took offence here...)
32. smack her with a brick, rick (me)
33. switch with your twin, quin (kay)
34. paint her ass blue, lou (me)
35. start doing blow, joe (me)
36. leave her at the gorge, george (me)
37. say her ass is too big to haul, paul (kay)
38. tell her she's like your mother, brother (kay, even though "brother" isn't a name really...)
39. slip it out of park, mark (me)
40. say u want three i a bed, red (kay)
41. Throw at her some jell-o, fellow (me..if she can use "brother", i can use "fellow"!
42. slug her with a bat, pat (kay)
43. make love to a porn mag, tag (kay. i don't know who/what "tag" is...)
44. give her a wet-willy, billy (me)
45. step off the window sill, will (kay)
46. grow your ass hairy, perry (me)
47. place a dumb bet, brett (me)
48. do it doggy style, kyle (kay)
49. put a snake in the bed, ted (me)
50. become a groupie for kiss, chris (me)

What do you think? I think we need to remake the song....


At 7/19/2005 1:32 PM, Anonymous Kristin said...

"Tag" is Rachel's Boyfriend on Friends for a few episodes!!


Quite honestly Brian, if Rex liked goat sex, I'm assuming you wouldn't want to stay with a dude that has sex with GOATS! That's just a given. Come on now...

At 7/19/2005 1:39 PM, Anonymous Mary said...


At 7/19/2005 8:11 PM, Blogger fidzgotskills said...


this proves there IS in fact, a Ding out there! so :-P Kristin!

At 7/20/2005 5:27 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

Why would you break up with someone for liking goat sex?

Just kidding...


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